Martyrdom or Motherhood?

Why is that a Mom can't be sick for more than 24 hours? What if after 24 hours, I still don't feel good? Who will take care of everything and everyone? Is it fair to ask someone to alter his schedule? (I am hearing a resounding "YES" in my mind as you read this.) Here is a better question...Why can't I ask for what I want? Do I feel like a "champion" if I am a martyr, or is it truly a quilty feeling for asking someone to change there plans to help me. ( I feel like Dr. Phil here.)
Well, here is what happened...Thursday night, Uncle Eric and Aunt Stacey were spending their last evening here in Jax. Larry and Cindy took us out to dinner at one of Nathan's and my favorite restaurant, Eleven South. On our way there, I wasn't feeling 100%. I had a head ache and was a little achy as the dinner started. Well, the yummy wine made all that go away! :) I love natural medicine. Then while in bed, around 1:00am, I started to feel it...that churning feeling everytime I rolled over. Even though I didn't feel so great, Eli still wanted fed. Ugh. I pulled myself out of bed and got him his late night snack, then crawled back into bed, only to feel a stronger churning in my belly. "I am not going to puke, I am not going to puke." I was willing myself to be a well-person. Finally, after getting up 3 times to soothe Eli, I had to ask Nathan to do it, because I was surely going to lose my lunch. By now, I am trembling with the chills. I finally convince myself that I will actually feel better if I just give in to the inevitable and go toss my cookies. And I did.
A few hours later, Nathan had to get up for work. What to do, what to do? Larry was taking Eric and Stacey to the airport, Cindy had 2 assignments to do for her Masters course, and Nathan had to work. I was in NO shape to be caring for 2 needy children. AAAAAAAAYYYYYYY! Then it happened...Nathan offered to take Mac to work with him. YES, I know, I couldn't believe it either. Not only did he have work to do at the office, but he also had to go out and look at a building, but was still willing to take Mac. What a relief. But, then there was the afternoon. Nathan had a golf tee time with Larry. All I wanted to do was sleep. But I also didn't want him to miss his time with his Dad, even though I felt as though Hell had opened up and I had entered. Instead of insisting he stay home, I was willing to gamble on the boys taking simultaneous naps for a few hours which would be tolerable. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I was DREAMING. How many times have they actually napped at the same time since we've been here? Maybe 4 times, and yesterday wasn't one of them.
So finally, Nathan gets home. "Please take them! I need to be horizontal." At 6:30pm I slipped into bed and promptly fell asleep until around 9:45, when the boys got home. Then at midnight, 3:00am, and 6:00am, Eli needed his snacks. And, last I checked, Nathan had not sprouted mammary glands, so once again, I was up. And this morning, Nathan had another tee time. "Ugh, my head aches. I am weak, and I am hungry." I am thinking "please don't go." He even asks me, "do you want me to stay?" And once again, "Emily the Martyr" says, "no, I don't want you to miss time with Larry." And off he went, but not before getting breakfast for us all. What a sweetie.
I actually mustered up the energy to go to the beach club pool to take Mac swimming, banking on the fact that Eli would sleep (and he did). Mac was such a big boy. He was swimming all by himself (with his floatie on), but I was still wearing out fast. I don't know if I was denying to myself that I had just had the stomach flu, or if I was just being a martyr again for my boys. After swimming with Mac and feeding Eli, I had to go home. I currently have a raging headache, but am waiting for Nathan to come home so we can go look at furniture. No, i am not sleeping like I should be. I am off to tackle the next thing on my list...Just like a Mom does. Is that martyrdom or motherhood. Wow, those words look similar.

BTW, the babysitter did not hurt or kidnap our kids and they were both asleep when we got home around 9:45pm. I don't think anything was stolen or broken, so maybe we'll hire her again. :)

Counting to 10

I had to count to 10 twice today so that I wouldn't hurt my child. His grandparents, GhiGhi and Papaw are here, staying in a condo near the beach. He didn't want to nap there today, and he didn't want Eli to nap either. tick tock tick tock. My fuse was getting really short. Poor Eli has NO schedule whatsoever, and cries A LOT, and I know it is because he has NO schedule. So today, i thought, this will be great. Mac is tired from the heat of the beach, he is asleep already in the car (as was Eli). I will just take him in and tuck him in and have a few moments to myself (a rarity) But NNNOOOOOOOOOO. He woke up the minute we stepped foot in the condo. Cuddling didn't work, reading didn't work, no way to lock him in. Finally he said, "I want to go back to the apartment." "Fine." I say, "but we are not coming back here for dinner and that will make Papaw cry." knowing full well we probably were coming back. I was so mad at myself for saying that in the first place. Anyway, I was coming unglued. I hate loosing it like that.

We did leave, but we didn't stop at the apartment. I just drove. For 2 hours, I drove while the boys slept. Hey, it was a nap. I spent their inheritance in gas, but they rested. When we got back to the condo for dinner, Mac must have told Papaw that he didn't have to cry now, because he(Mac) was there for dinner. I think Papaw may have been a little confused by that. :) HE really does listen to what I say.

Aunt Stacey is so great with Eli. I mentioned he cries a lot. Well, Stacey had him fast asleep in her arms tonight after dinner and had to put him in his car seat. Of course he woke up, but she has discovered that he loves his face to be rubbed. (I never knew that, sadly) So, she held his pacifier in with one hand and ever so gently rubbed his temple with the other. Right back to sleep he fell. Way to go Stac.

So, Mac stayed the night with GhiGhi and Papaw last night. I got some good QT with Eli. We stayed in bed until after 8am. It was great. And...we slept in Mac's room so Daddy could sleep. The crying... That way Nate didn't have to hear it when it happened. (I think I have spoiled Nathan and Eli) I am the one suffering with no sleep while Eli gets a paci. on command and Nathan never hears his cries because I fly out of bed so fast so that Nathan won't be awakened.
I digress...So Mac slept IN BETWEEN his grandparents last night. HE is truly the spoiled one. He thought it was pretty funny when Papaw started snoring. He now can imitate Papaw's snore to a "T". It is hysterical.

OK, I am tired, not making much sense and am sticky from sweating all day. OH yeah, I almost forgot...I hired a babysitter for tomorrow night so the adults could go to dinner. I am guessing that I will be worrying the entire time about the stranger in my house with my kids and all of my stuff. But, nevertheless, I am going through with it. I keep telling myself, I will never truly know the people who sit for my kids while we are here. They aren't family or friends (yet). So, I am going to bite the bullit and just trust. I found her on the internet from Rent-a Nanny. I am not even kidding. OMG, the more I write about it and read it, the less sure I am about it. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!! I am sure she is a lovely girl.

Milestones

On May 29th, Eli rolled from Front to Back three times while on the pediatricians table.

Mac picks out a letter and can name it!!! And say what word it starts.

Mac is figuring out his imagination. This is good and bad. Now he gets scared in the middle of the night. But he also loves our made up stories.

Eli slept really well 2 nights ago (after his shots.) I welcome any sleep, even if it is assisted by Children's Tylenol. Last night...not so good.

Mac fell down his first complete flight of stairs on Wednesday the 28th. Luckily, he rolled like a log and not somersaults. Nothing broken. Just ripped off an old scab.

Finally, drumroll please....

Mac swam with no help last night (30th). Well, he had on his floatie, but Dad let go!!!!

Retirement

So both of my parents are now retired. That is so cool to me. It was fun honoring my Mom last Friday with a reception for her "New found freedom". But I do wonder what she will do with her time. She always says, "Oh, I will be so busy cleaning out my class room." "I have lots of things to keep me busy." Like what? OK, tennis once a week in the summer. The daily crossword. mmm...yep, that just about does it. I think my sisters and I should get her a "How to knit" book. That is a really popular hobby these days. Oh, oh, oh...I know, she can start fishing with Dad. No, that might end in divorce. I would hate to ruin a good marriage that way. I know, she can come hang out with us here in Florida. She loves the sun. Tans like nobody's business. She can sit at the beach with a good book and drink Mai Tai's all day. :) I bet she is so glad to know that I am going to plan out her life for her... Like she needs help. :)

SO Good to see family and friends

OK OK OK...I know I have been a bad blogger. Seems like every time I think of doing it, the computer is occupied by either Nathan or Mac, yes Mac!!! He is an avid computer user. I love it! I also can't wait for him to have his own computer set up at the new house, so I can have my time on this one. I hate to pull him off of it when he is learning and exploring his way around Horton or the "penguins."
Mac, Eli and I spent a wonderful week in IN this past week. It was so good to see everyone.
PaBob and Nonnee were great hosts to us in B'ton. They always spoil Mac and Eli when they see them, which is their perogative. Eli had a big happening on their living room floor. I had placed him on his belly, then I took a big gulp of Diet Coke from my stadium cup, looked back at Eli, and he was on his back!!!! Drats! I missed his first real roll-over. I said this to friends and family already, that if he had been my first child, I would have cried, but he is the second, so I am already over it! Isn't that horrible! :)
I think Grandma Headley was surprised to see how big the boys were. I know she had a few peaceful moments holding and cuddling Eli. Those times truly are precious.
Mac seemed to "fold" back into his old ways at Kelly's house with his buddies. They had the first annual "Diggers and Puppies" bike race, in honor of the 500 I think. Unfortunately Mac is not well versed on the bikes or trikes. I think that will be a gift this year. He really needs to learn how to peddle!!! Of course, when playing in Kelly's backyard, he is the one child who lays completely flat in the sandbox. Do you think that means he a sand-lover?! I suppose that is good, except that he had on jeans and a fleece. It was real fun trying to shake the sand out of those clothes.
When I saw Mac with his buddies, I could really see how much he has grown. He is now almost as tall as the oldest child there. Hearing from the other moms about the changes they saw in him, i.e. height&speach, it really brought them out to me. I knew he had grown and developed in 2 months, but I didn't really realize how much. It was sweet to see how nothing really changes with those kids. It was always the same three playing together. Then there was Mac with his love, his beloved Kate. They always play off by themselves. Not necessarily together, but near one another, like two old souls who take comfort in knowing the other is nearby. No words are needed, just the closeness. On Thursday, as we were getting ready to leave, it was nap time. The cots were set up in the living room and Mac asked where his was. Then he picked a cot to lay down on, so he could extend his time there. It was, of course, Kate's.

While in Washington, we saw lots of branches of our family tree. Grandma and Grandpa Carpenter came over with Chris and got to see the boys. I know Eli loved the attention. He has never slept so well as he did in Grandma's arms. We also got to hand out with the "McClarren" side of our family, which does NOT happen near enough. I realize we are all busy with our own kids and lives, but come on... I think this was the first time I had been in the same place with all three of my cousins and their kids and my aunt in YEARS!!!! IT was so good seeing them. Mac had a blast with all the boys. He didn't know what hit him. It was great for him. And the silly string...Aunt Stella is a genious!!!

Leaving on Wednesday was tough for all of us. We really do look forward to seeing everyone again. And we really do expect visitors. :)

House Update

I don't have any new pix of the house, but I should this weekend. I do, however, have some news! Our contact with our builder has said that we should be closing on the house in a month. Yes, ONE month. The completion date projection is for the 26th of May, then we would close 10 days after that. That is a full month ahead of our expected close date! YIPPEE!!! I drove by today and saw that they poured the driveway and have painted the exterior! We haven't been without our hiccups though. I think problems are a requirement with new construction. Anyway, they laid the wrong tile in the foyer and kitchen. That should be easy enough to fix.

BTW, killed yet ANOTHER cockroach last night (at 2 a.m.), and saw one in our eating utensil tray! HOW GROSS is that! Now the pest control guy said to me, "Honey, I can't keep 'em from comin' in, but they gonna die within 8 days of gettin' in." Well "honey" that JUST WON'T DO! I can't wait to get out of here. You can't tell me that every home in Florida has a cockroach problem. There IS a way to keep them out, he just hasn't done it yet!!! (Wow, what a rant and rave!)

Eli Giggled!!!!!!!!!

It wasn't a belly laugh, but it was definitely a giggle. And, it happened twice (so far.) First, Mac, Eli and I were sitting on Mac's bed reading bedtime stories. Then, in walks Dutch with her frisbee. The poor dog is SO bored and understimulated. She is practically begging me to take her out and play. But, alas, I am reading to my boys. Love the dog, but they will win every time. Anyway, Dutch starts to shake her frisbee violently back and forth like she is trying to shake the life out of it. Then suddenly, I feel Eli jerk and squeal. Then it happened. A perfect little giggle.
Then, I took him in to put on his jammies, and I couldn't resist giving his little belly a raspberry. Then it happened again. The perfect little giggle!

I remember the first time Mac giggled too. We were at my parents' house and my sister Anita had him resting on her legs which she had propped up. She started to tickle just under his chin. This apparently was his "giggle switch" because it was a sure thing from that point on.

When I was a little girl, we had some new neighbors move in behind us. They had a little girl, Sarah who was maybe 1. She had the best giggle. I remember her Mom lovingly look at her and say to me, "There is nothing better than a baby's giggle." I totally agree.